Sep 9, 2009

Life is such a rollercoaster. Sometimes all you can do is hold on tight, face your fears, and wait for the giant drops and upside-down loops to be over. The past week has been a blur of excitement, anxiety, frustration, and sadness. So much is going on and I tend to feel a bit overwhelmed in times like these.
Work has played a huge factor in my increased stress levels. I'm preparing for an exam that I've dreaded writing for weeks. There is so much information that I'm trying to absorb, but I lack the attention span and interest to study. While procrastinating, my mind tends to wander and I'm again reminded that I'm not doing what I want to be doing with my life. It's a decent job, but when I think of where I'll be 2 years down the road, I shudder at the thought of still being here, working in this office. Even staying in this town is hard for me to accept. My true passion has always and will always lie in the tourism and aviation industry, and I'm not sure what else I can do to better fit the hiring criteria for the airlines. On that note, I read the other day that Emirates has resumed hiring. Back in January, I made it through 4 intensive rounds of interviews before the company was forced to stop hiring due to the economic recession. Emirates is my dream airline, my main career goal... everything I've wished for the past 3 years. I'm still holding on to a faint glimmer of hope, that maybe one day my dream will come true.
That, as my luck would have it, would lead to another issue. I have a boyfriend, and I've never cared about somebody so much. On the off chance that I am ever offered a job with Emirates, leaving him would be the hardest thing I'd ever do. I couldn't just pass up on my dream though, right? Could I? Who is to say we'll even still be dating 2 months from now. I like to stay optimistic, but it was just a few days ago that we had a tearful discussion about our relationship, and the flaws are evident. What relationship is perfect though? We made up our mind that we both need to compromise, but that it's worth pushing on through the hard times. The good times outweigh the bad.
When I think about it, those are really the only things frustrating me right now. Dealing with them at the same time has left me a bit moody and lost. Fortunately, I have a great life and many exciting things have happened as well.
As I've already mentioned... Emirates is hiring again. It scares me, but leaves me hopeful and gives me something to strive for.
In more happy news, I recently had a friend visit me from Germany. We met in Australia when we were both employees at an island resort. Ryan and I took her camping and exploring the mountains, and she was in awe of the beauty that Canada has to offer. It was great to catch up and spend time with somebody who thinks like me in terms of having a traveling lifestyle. She left yesterday, and as usual, saying goodbye was not easy. I hope that some day I can visit her and that she will show me around her home.
That's my random rant of the day. I'm an emotional mess, most of the time.


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