Vanilla Twilight

Nov 16, 2009

26 days from now I'll be boarding a plane, embarking on a huge journey that is guaranteed to change my life. It's been a couple of weeks and as the days until departure grow nearer, the entire situation has yet to sink in. I finally had an emotional breakdown this weekend. This has been a goal of mine for years, and I'm so thrilled and excited that I'll finally have achieved what most can only dream of. As I'm sure you can all imagine, leaving is bittersweet. For once in my life, I have a boyfriend that I care so much about, and I feel almost selfish leaving him here. I've heard so many negative comments about long distance relationships, but I try not to listen. There isn't a question in my mind as to whether we can make it work. I just worry about how I'll sleep each night with him on the other side of the world... how will I cope without goodnight kisses and cuddling during movies and spending every day with him? It's going to hurt, and it won't be easy. All I know is that it will be worth it.

I'm obsessed with Owl City, and recently this song has taken the top spot on my playlist.

Vanilla Twilight - Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you and I lie awake and miss you.
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly, but I'll miss your arms around me,
I'd send a post card to you dear...
'Cause I wish you were here.

I'll watch the night turn light blue but it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly.
The silence isn't so bad 'til I look at my hands and feel sad,
'Cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly.
I'll find repose in new ways, though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone...
But drenched in vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist-deep in thought because when I think of you,
I don't feel so alone. I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you, tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter and heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew, but I swear I won't forget you.
Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past....
I'd whisper in your ear,
"Oh, darling I wish you were here"


Julie said...

I just read your concerns about long distance relationships. As you know, Seth is deployed and has been on the other side of the world from me for months and has months to go. I worried whether I could do it, but you know, you get used to it. Probably a lot quicker than you can ever imagine. And you'll find yourself sleeping in the middle of the bed, sprawled out. I find myself falling to sleep thinking about his groping around in the dark trying to find me to kiss me goodnight.
And just think, you'll be able to see each other. Sure, it might be expensive and it might not be as often as you'd like, but good things are often like that.
If your relationship is as good as you've made it sound, you'll have no trouble making it through and it will only make you stronger.
Good luck and congratulations!

Krysta said...

Thank you Julie! I really appreciate that. You and Seth are a huge inspiration to me right now, and I hope that I'll be as brave and strong as you are without him. :)

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