Happiness

"And when you figure out that love is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else feel so small." - Carrie Underwood

He's the reason for the smile that never leaves my face.

I know, it's silly to count ever month of dating as an anniversary, but I love to remind myself of how lucky I am.

Happy 3 Months, Ryan.

"Look Into Your Heart and You'll Find Love, Love, Love" - Jason Mraz

It's funny how when you are single you can't stand hearing about happy couples and fairytale romance. I know... trust me. For years I was the poster child for single, independent females. I put myself first and viewed relationships as an inconvenience to my travel and life plans. While my friends dated and spilled their giddy tales of falling in love, I was perfectly content with my self proclaimed Miss Independent status. I traveled the world, I partied my nights away, and I took pride in the fact that I didn't rely on anybody but myself.

The past year has been very pivotal in terms of my stance on relationships. Now, while the majority of my friends are rediscovering their single lives, I'm the one in a relationship. The tides have turned and it's now me with the stories and the never disappearing smile. I try so hard to refrain from talking about my boyfriend every minute of every day, but it's hard to contain myself sometimes... every little thing that he does convinces me that there is no girl in the world quite as lucky as me. Listen to me... I even blog about it. I hear the words coming from my mouth and I barely recognize myself. I used to roll my eyes every time that somebody mentioned how amazing their boyfriend/girlfriend was, but I finally get it. When love comes around even the most independent of people can't resist. There is nothing quite like it.

Camping Trip # 3!

Another long weekend has come and gone. August has arrived and the end of summer is approaching much faster than I'm willing to accept. That said, I'd rank 2009 pretty high in my list of "Best Summers Ever" and we still have a month left.

This weekend was another epic 3 days. On Saturday morning Ryan and I packed up the Neon and set out on a camping adventure. We took a slight detour, stopping at a camera store in Calgary. Having just purchased a new camera body, Ryan was in search of a perfect lens. He tested out several of them, convincing me to pose for photos despite my obvious disinterest. Oh, the life of a photographer's girlfriend. We spent 2 hours in that store before I finally persuaded him to spend only $1000 as opposed to the $3000 that he was ready to charge to his credit card. I do love cameras, and I having a growing interest in photography, but 2 hours was a bit excessive. I was hungry. He reluctantly left the store and it was onwards to Peter's Drive In, where we dined on amazing burgers and a chocolate-strawberry milkshake. Finally, we started heading west towards the Rocky Mountains.

I was born and raised here in Alberta, only a short drive from the mountains. Despite this fact, it never fails to amaze me when I first catch a glimpse of the giant rocky peaks. We drove down the beautiful winding roads, stopping around what seemed to be every corner to get out of the car and take photos. We were so preoccupied with our cameras that we forgot to stop for gas in Canmore, and were faced with a nearly empty tank and 70 km to our destination. Luckily we were able to find a small gas station in the middle of nowhere, with an old fashioned gas pump and ridiculously overpriced fuel. It was expensive, but it beats being stuck on the side of the Trans Canada highway on a long weekend. It was 10 pm when we finally made it to the campsite. We set up our tent, ate some dinner, and snuggled up inside warm sleeping bags.

The next morning we woke up bright and early and cooked bacon and eggs over the fire.... a change from my regular marhmallows and hot dogs. Perhaps I should go camping with Ryan more often! Sunday also marked the day that we'd been dating for 2 months. 2 entire months, and we still like eachother?! This for me is a huge accomplishment. We were kissy and cuddly and all sorts of romantic couple on a romantic mountain getaway sort of stuff. I'm so used to being single that displays of affection normally make me roll my eyes or mutter sarcastic comments... but I'm finding that even commitment-o-phobics such as myself can have trouble resisting romance once in awhile. This boy sure has a strange effect on me. We ventured to the Columbia Icefields where I was mesmorized at the sight of a huge glacier on a hot summer day. The one issue that I have with camping is the lack of showering. I'm okay with not wearing makeup, but being in the dirty, dusty mountains and not being to rinse off is a bit hard for me to deal with. My hair was greasy, my clothes were dirty, and I was wearing no makeup... but that didn't stop Ryan from taking far too many close up photos of me. Oh well, it just goes to show that he still likes me even when I'm at my worst.

That evening we stood under the moonlight as he taught me a bit about long exposure and night time photography. I was fascinated and want to try more. For one particular shot, he had me hold down his shutter button as he walked far away, lantern in hand. There I was, all alone in the pitch black as he walked away with the only source of light. I started convincing myself that I could hear a bear in the trees behind me, and stood in fear until he finally returned. The photo turned out great, but that was the last of that. I headed back to the tent, out of sight from the bears that I was sure were out to get me.

When we woke up, Monday had arrived and it was time to pack up and head back home. More photos, more food, and we finally hit the road. It was such a perfect weekend, and I'm such a happy camper (get it, camper? Okay... not funny) these days.

Crazy, Chaotic, Confusing... and Perfect.

I hate to be one of those girls who gets all excited and blogs about the new boy in her life, because honestly, who likes to read that crap? That said, after 3 years as a single lady, I think I have the right to at least be a teensy bit giddy. It's not like I force you to read it.

I met said boy about 2 1/2 years ago. Since then we've became quite close friends. That was all fine and dandy for quite awhile, but somehow in the past few months we've marched right across that line that separates "Just friends" from "Something more". This led to many arguments, confusing conversations... we even wrote lists stating the reasons we should never date. Sometimes, you don't have a choice in the matter. Occasionally, you have to ignore what your head tells you and listen to your heart... a difficult task for both of us. With a bit of hesitation and a lot of excitment, we've jumped off the deep end and are praying that we stay afloat. I see fun times in the near future.

Sorry gentlemen (please don't stop reading my blog as a result!)... but I'm off the market.

Where Do I Go From Here?

Human relationships are a crazy thing. They keep life interesting, confusing, amazing, frustrating, challenging, exciting, and worth living.

There are many different types of relationships... family, friendships, acquaintances... and the most complex of all of them; the romantic relationship between 2 people. I'm no expert on this subject. In fact, if it was a subject in school I'm guessing I'd recieve a failing grade. "I'm destined to be single" is a line I quote far too often.

Let me try to explain a bit about my crazy mind for you...

I'm a hopeless romantic. Really, I am. I cry like a baby at weddings, I dream of long, hand in hand walks down beaches, and I constantly catch myself saying "awwww!" at sweet displays of affection. I pray that one day I'll find my perfect match and that we will get married, have babies, and live happily ever after. I watch chick flicks and decide that I want a romance, just like that one. I'll meet the man of my dreams and we will fall madly in love. Easy as that.

In typical Krysta fashion, I contradict myself all of the time. I'm a self proclaimed "commitment-o-phobe". When a friendship starts to move a little beyond the boundries of friendship and into a more of a dating situation, I get scared and back away. Even if we have everything in common. Even if I think that things would work out perfectly. I freak out, I can't help it. I don't know what is wrong with me. Friends come to me for relationship advice on a regular basis, and I give what they say is great advice, but suggest that perhaps I try to take it for myself some day.

So what, you may ask, is the inspiration for this particular blog? You guessed it... there is a boy. I've been single for the past 3 years and in that time traveled the world on my own, I'm extremely independent, so even typing that is weird for me. I think that I've realized my feelings towards this boy for quite some time, but again, in typical Krysta fashion, I'd never admit it to anybody. I don't know if he's aware that this blog even exists, and if he is, I don't know that he'll read this. But I kind of hope that he does. I know he'll know that I'm talking about him, and I hope he realizes that I'm sorry for the way I've acted over this whole situation. You see, we are great friends, I'd probably call him one of my best. I have no idea what his view on the current situation is, but in my opinion we've walked right over that boundry that separates friendships from romance, and we are stuck in the middle with no way out. It's a tricky situation and we've yet to discuss it between eachother, because, yes, I'm Krysta. I'm scared. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to deal with my own emotions. I think that we've reached a point where we need to move forward, or let go, and to me both of those options sound terrifying.

This is so unlike me.I mean honestly! I'm nearly 23 years old and I'm blogging about my boy troubles. I know that somewhere, somebody out there in that great big internet world has to have been there before. I'm hoping and I'm praying that I'll figure things out sometime, preferably sooner than later.

It's a Wonderful Life...

I apologize for my lack of recent updates. Since finally finding a job, my life revolves slightly less around the internet.... only slightly. So here is the past month summed up:

1. The Job: Timing is everything. I was down to $36, my car insurance was due the next Friday, and I'd come to terms with the fact that I'd probably end up being cancelled due to non-payment. And then, for the first time in nearly 2 months, I stumbled upon some good luck and finally found a job... a good one, at that. I'm now working for an insurance agency, a refreshing change from the unstable oil and gas industry in which I'm usually employed. Oh, and I got paid the day before my insurance was due.
2. The Camera: I was the proud owner of a little pink Canon Ixus 80 IS. I'd purchased it in Australia after my silly Olympus died from the heavy humidity of my home in the rainforest. A faithful travel companion that never left my side, Little Pink passed away a few weeks ago. It was tragic, and I was greatly upset. Everything happens for a reason though, and I think that this time it was a clear sign that I needed a new camera. So I headed to the store, and spent all of my money on a beautiful Nikon D60. It was love at first sight. We've been together for just under 2 weeks and I already am convinced that it's meant to be.
3. The Boyfriend: Single no more. Okay... I kid, I kid. I totally had you believing me there for a minute... I'm so funny... but as per usual, I'm still a happily single lady. I did, however, have a "boyfriend" for approximately 4 hours on April Fool's Day, purely for the shock value amongst mutual friends. It was good while it lasted, thanks for the memories Ryan.
4. The Season: I've broke out the flip flops and started wearing skirts to work. Yes, there are still patches of snow on the ground, but Spring has arrived and Winter is no longer welcome here. I'm praying for no more snow. The geese are back, so it must be Spring, geese know everything.
5. The Chocolate Withdrawals: If you've spoken to me in the past 43 days, you are guaranteed to have heard my rant about how I'm suffering since giving up chocolate for Lent. I can proudly say that I haven't cheated, not once! Easter is 3 days away, and I'm going to make it! Hellooooo, mini eggs.
6. The Gym: Since I started going to the gym in February, I've shed 15 lbs (which, coincidentally happens to be the exact amount I gained in Australia... curse you, Tim Tams!), prepped myself for bikini season, and I can even run 2 whole laps. Okay, that's not much, but for me, any running is impressive. My gym buddy/ex April Fool's Day boyfriend and I have started attending fitness classes.... everything from yoga and Pilate's to high energy "Boot camp" classes. I'm by no means trying to lose weight, but the endorphins are so addicting!

That's about it. I still lead a relatively uninteresting life, I just get a pay cheque these days!

Starbucks in the Park... Welcome Back Spring!